06.30.19

Tired today. I’ve been very social the last three days, for me. Time to recharge on the couch.

There was a moment yesterday that I wish I had captured, but I hesitated too long, and it was gone. Picture a momma hugging her little boy good bye in the open doorway of a home, with the setting sun shining directly on their faces as he snuggles into her neck.

06.28.19

Sometimes days in the CICU are like getting sucker punched in the face, heart and gut all at the same time, and there really isn’t enough to be said for the coworkers I’m so privileged to work alongside. It’s pretty amazing to watch everyone step up and get done what needs to get done, with so much grace and empathy all the while. *Including our pups, who take care of us once we get home. . .or to the bar.*

06.27.19

I buy flowers purely to photograph them. More free lensing.

06.26.19

Beach days. How does one make enough money to live here? I’m thinking nursing may have been an inadequate choice.

06.25.19

Sometimes he snuggles in so hard, it’s like he can’t get close enough. His way of letting me know when he needs some love. Always happy to oblige.

On a different note, Coulon Park doesn’t allow dogs!?!

06.24.19

I got to spend some quality time with this adorable little nugget today! It’s kind of funny because I took a ton of photos, and the ones I like best are the only ones that are slightly out of focus. There’s something surreal and dreamy about an image that’s just a little soft. It gives it more feeling somehow.

Today I also found out some good people are beginning on the same journey with their twins that Miss Ella here was on just a few short months ago when she was born far too early. It’s such a hard road. My heart is aching for them, for what they must be feeling now, and for what they will face in the coming hours, weeks, months, maybe years. Praying so hard for them and their babies.

06.21.19

Just a few girls, learning how to make sausages.

06.20.19

The death stare, because how could I possibly have pulled out my camera without even saying hi after being gone for 14 hours? Because the light is pretty, Norman.

06.19.19

Scheduled my knee surgery today. I’m terrified of the anesthesia because I know too much, but that’s no reason to live with a bum knee for the rest of my life. I have too many PRs left in me, so I will attempt to ignore the fact that it’s happening until the day-of, and then I will hope that the good drugs do their job as they are intended, and then I will do all the things I’m supposed to do so I can get back to those heavy back squats!

Norman couldn’t care less about any of it. He just wants me to get the camera out of his face. Sorry buddy.

06.18.19

There might be a few flowers in this project. I’m loving freelensing them more and more.

06.17.19

“From ada.

Hey would you like to come over to are house.”

Yes.

06.16.19

A little tug with this guy. I got a lot of yard work done today, but sometimes I feel so guilty about not taking Norman on more regular adventures. This guy deserves the world.

06.15.19

I did some freelensing in my front yard today, and I couldn’t choose one, so here’s four. Apparently my neighbors used to see the previous owner of my house hiding behind bushes buck naked. At least I had clothes on, though I’m sure I still looked weird sitting in the grass in contorted positions, holding a camera with the lens not even attached.

06.14.19

A day in which I cried three times: once for a child I couldn’t comfort; once in fury on behalf of a kind, gentle woman being cruelly mistreated by her own husband; once for a dog who died in his owner’s arms after being pulled out of a burning building (thank you facebook for that last one). Then I came home to this. Also, there were rainbows splashed across the kitchen.

06.13.19

It was this girl’s last day with us at Seattle Children’s. Katie, you made me feel seen and cared for during a time when I thought I was invisible, and I know I wasn’t the only one. You will be missed.

06.12.19

At one point today Norman actually sought out the sunny spot. That was before the house reached 86 degrees. He’s now sprawled out in front of the fan breathing 112 times a minute.

See Mom? I told you if I posted before the day was officially over that another photo opportunity would inevitably arise.

06.11.19

This could also potentially become an ode to Norman…

…but I’ll throw this one in here too.

06.10.19

My little arm rest.

My first (and only) successful 365 ended December 31, 2017. For the majority of 2018 I barely picked up my camera, for reasons I’m not completely sure I understand. I’ve always found solace in my photography, but the emotional upheaval of betrayal and eventual divorce seemed to shut down my creativity, and along with it, that particular outlet for my grief. Perhaps it would have just been too painful to see it all in images.

The last few months I’ve felt my camera’s pull again, the desire for creativity, for documenting my life and my loves, for capturing both the grit and beauty around me, for recording someone’s soul through their gaze.

In doing some revamping of my website (hello Fine Art School Portraits!) I inevitably meandered through some of my old work, including my 365. Oddly, I remember every single image I took from that year, but some of the words I wrote along with them I have no recollection of typing, no recollection of even thinking, and no recollection of what prompted them. It’s a bit disconcerting, yet I feel so grateful to have that record of my life. A brief window into my mindset each day of that year.

It’s not January 1st. Not by a long shot. But who says year long projects have to start at the beginning of the year (only my OCD)? And who says it has to be a year long (that’s a really long time, and also not long enough)? Who says it has to be every day (shooting on work days in the winter is hard, not to mention avoiding HIPAA violations if I try to shoot at work)? And who says it has to be just one photo each day (choosing one feels so limiting some days)?

So I don’t know what this will become, but I know I want to shoot more, post more, and write more. So here’s to the future me being able to meander back through these images and words someday!